Fog-Felled

I blundered through the fog
Hands outstretched; they sought
The daylight, even in the day
Some clarity come, I pray

Roiling shapes in the mist
Obstruct sight of the distance
There was no contrary instance

Wandering alone and lost
Smoky ghosts all around
With breath frigid like hoarfrost
On me, they breathe down

Seeping into every orifice
They swirl and swish with such malice
Mist outside, miasma inside
Any transparency denied

Like gaseous poison rife
The air I breathe is stifling
All sight is dying

Fallen with no fear
For the air would never clear
The floating fog so downy
I let it drown me



[All I write are poems :( maybe I should do something else]

On Suicide.

I know I haven't been writing anything new. I rarely post, and when I do, I post stuff that was written two years ago.
I don't have the inspiration to write poetry anymore.
BUT, to appease ye literary gods, I shall write now.
Not poetry, but merely some musing I've had.


Now, some of you will know (namely Mich, my Mom, and Eunice) that I oppose suicide prevention. Some of you might wonder why. So far I have only explained it to my mom (in person). Her reaction was unfathomable. I wonder what she thinks of it. She gave no comment.

This notion came to me one day after talking yet another person out of suicide/self harm/whatever. I'd had enough of this crap.

Let me first state that this is written in the context of disregarding any religious beliefs and such. This is written for a utilitarian perspective, which I find to be the most practical and sensible of philosophies.
Christianity states that suicide is a sin. It also states that your body is not yours to decide what to do with. I disregard all of this. I believe that everybody has rights to their own body.

Let me also say now, that in the context of people I know personally, it's not that I want you to die, per se. It's just that I have my reasons for not interfering in your intentions on what to do with your life. It is your life, after all. If you have thought it all out carefully and are sure about it, then... by all means. I hope you find what you're looking for. I'll miss you though.

So this is my reasoning on why I don't believe in talking people out of suicide (besides the obvious reason of being too lazy).

First,
The reasons people contemplate suicide are these: They're depressed over stupid things, they're depressed over serious things, they're psychotic, they're impulsive, they're attention seekers whose ploy had gone awry, or they have philosophical reasons for dying.

People who are depressed over stupid things
These fall into two categories.
The first is young people who are just overdramatic attention seekers. Like teenagers who contemplate suicide over a breakup. Please. Get a life. Most of the time these people don't actually commit suicide, and are just annoying. The ones who do commit suicide are probably the ones who don't get the attention/help they need, or are just that messed up. Seriously, if your problems are trivial, deal with them yourself. Don't burden others with your incessant drama. If you're stupid enough to commit suicide and not see the bigger picture of your life, then society is better off without you. Thus, go ahead.

The second category is older people who are depressed over stupid things. If you're this old, and still this immature, then, again, you're really messed up. Society is better off without you. Unless you really do contribute to society in a significant way. But I doubt this is the kind of character that leads to such a helpful member of society. You should be old enough to decide if this is what you really want, anyway.

People who are depressed over serious things
The people like Kurt Cobain.
The world still misses him. His genius is a loss to the world.
But we understand, that if we had the power to have kept him alive, it would have caused him much pain. His life was a painful one.
So. If people have serious and legitimate reasons for committing suicide, it would be cruel to hold them back. Some people are happier dead. If they want to end their lives, it should be respected.

People who are psychotic
Um do we really want a bunch of psychotic people running around in our society? Better off dead than a burden and danger to us all. I know you guys will say that not all of them are beyond help. This is where the burden part comes in. Besides, I believe that psychological suffering is still suffering, and if they want to end their lives, so be it.

People who are impulsive
These are most likely people who do drugs, have drinking problems, etc. They're just stupid. If they stayed alive they would have screwed something up in our society. They're like... like system glitchs. anyway, they're a danger and a burden. Refer to the above.

Attention seekers whose ploy had gone awry
Refer to "young people who are depressed over stupid things". You know, people who one day cut their wrists too deep, or took some random pills whose overdose effects they had no idea of. If their stupidity or ignorance caused their deaths, then oh well. Since these "suicides" are accidental, there's not much prevention that can be done. But we're probably better off without them.

Those with philosophical reasons for dying
These are the people who have some higher reason for believing they ought to die. I think, as far as sound reasoning is concerned, their wishes ought to be respected. Who's to say they aren't wrong in believing whatever theory or concept they came up with, that suggested they were better off dead? Perhaps they were right. Perhaps they were onto something. We'll never know.

Thus, I conclude here that suicide shouldn't really be prevented unless you're absolutely sure that the person is making a grave error and will realize this. Or you're selfish and you don't want to cope with the grieving.

I myself have often fantasized about suicide, but I would never consider doing it for real. I have my own logical considerations that suggest that it'd be best to stay alive for now.

Redrum

In a river of remorse
Lay one, off his course
Driven there by force
And a hellish dark horse
An overflowing spring
Blood and guilt dripping
From a crown of fallen king's
Of glory days it sings
 The engulfing black waters
A hazy liquid mire
Obstructing the gazer
From Pleiadian daughter
It flows and flows and flows
In a current no one knows
Light births monochrome rainbows
Mocking with sickly glow
A deep-seated fear
Sits in a centre near
Just when all is clear
Vanished is the last tear

Drowning

Pondering the ponderous
Depths below, so ageless
They'd swallow up the nisus
The draining numbness
Standing pathless
Over the road of no vagueness
Take me to the timeless
Void lightless

All that separates I
From the downward fly
To the rolling waves
That would save
Much anguish
Is this concrete grayish

Lightning waltzes
Across the darkening
Backdrop, that douses
The orbs seeing

Covering all in sight
A fine mist
So translucent and light
Heralds abyss

Capricious winds sweep
And sashay
Raindrops from their steep
Paths, stray

Watery dancers twirling
Currents of liquid swirling
Resentments curdling
All of it asserting
That this miasma
Sickly real aura
Must end
One which I should send

Rolling clouds and thunder
Rip the sky asunder
It sounds such an omen
For such a glow, then
To shield my visage
From stinging umbrage
My gaze sank
And once again drank

The sight of the roiling
Depths boiling

Happened a tilt
And for all brevity
My self spilt
In the hold of gravity

Descending with the rain
Loosing internal monsoon
Knowing that the pain
Would away soon



[Adapted from something I put up on FB recently. I know it's bad, I cobbled it together too quickly, it's pretty haphazard, huh]

Inspiration

The rampant flow of rushing waters

They drip and splatter in drowning splendor

The gold at far of the limitless rainbow

How you've surpassed the suppressing barrier

The block,

The clock,

Oh watch-- it's gone

Where do the sparks, all come from?

Now thank the cousin of the cupid

For thou has't been shot, lest I rot

Thanked the cousin of the cupid

For Inspiration has rescued thy hapless stupid

Shortchanged

"A dollar for it Ma'am"

For something worth a cent;

Then dissatisfaction rants,

And disbelief vents.

The simplest of issues,

Embedded in man's own tissues.

Why, it's in our DNA

We'll never like to pay--

For our actions nor our choice;

To Consequence, we stare in dismay.

All we like is gain,

Or squirming in complains.

Oh. The pinch is hurtful

Even more where meaning holds

As when even with words we're short

Of the feelings that we've talked

Never expressed as a whole

Falling short of our goal

How dreadful do you feel

When layers of truth are peeled

Or when emotions are veiled

And effectiveness of expression, is but jailed?

To each mind's meaning of it;

Transferring it all's no easy feat.

True feelings ain't written or said,

For then it won't be true-- but paid.

Only through solid actions

Can you prove the inexplicable emotions

And concoct a healing potion

Only through unthinkable reaction

Can you reflect your rage

Towards this situation

You endeavor to salvage

This shortchange in our language

Love Like Sand

*Note: Dude even my mom didn't understand the metaphor. I hope you guys do. This was written in JH2 (:

It lies on the shores as a single body

Yet flies as individual particles

When kicked into the air in a

Blinding cloud of chaos.

It seeks to fill the spaces

Between your fingers

Fitting perfectly like a socket and plug

Moulded especially for the spark.

It scatters into the air

If you hold it too loosely

Or grasp too forcefully

And takes time to find again.

It trickles down the hourglass

Measuring out our lives

By its grains, fine or coarse,

Much or little.

Proud sandcastles stand

Only as firm as their foundation.

Unless knocked over

Before their time.

Remember

Remember for me
When we used to see
And play the wise
Seeing through lies

Remember the time
We scaled and climbed
O'er any in our way
And blocked the rays

Remember the day
Together we played
And danced around fires
Leaking desires

Remember the moment
Our hearts opened
And bled our souls
Never being whole

Remember the void
No light, no noise
Just deep dismay
We walked away

Remember the grave
No saving from the waves
Drowning in the sea
Remember me



Rambling again.

Circle cycle- The Rule of Rituals

Circles and circles,

Cycles and cycles.

Fools and scholars; they both liken.

In the scheme of balance, a mentality's rampant.

Funny how, it pumps up trouble.

Trouble and trouble,

Double the trouble;

Rise of rebels,

Scattered individuals.

Replicas hoard the road

Watch the green light go

Marvel at the crowd flow

Or at the jaywalkers who cut and go

We prepare the crime

For our rules are so defined

Define to the extent it will not bend.

Defined to the extent, we can't repent.

Why define.

Why refine.

Why... the fines?

Glib

The glib of tongue

High ends strung

Well-packaged junk

Refurnished dung

The unsupposing fool

Listens and drools

Falls into a pool

And tendrils pulled

Gasps for breaths

All entrapped

The fool pleads--

Ready is a wreath

For even the gods grief

What a fool to belief

Emotions

Deafening cries of shattered glass

Breaking cracks of disfigured hearts

Disturbs the night of calm

Revives the day of treachery and harm

Silence. Silence.

Silence it all.

The world of peace begins to fall.

Call. Call.

Why can't it stop?

Why drive me up to a cornered wall.

Ghouls of ages light up taper

They cackle as we burn in flaming candles.

Wherefore such folly, wherefore such insanity

To be governed by things

And call them king.

Why the doubt, why the anxiety

The play on them

And you're maneuvered like a tram.

The shackles of It, bound me deep

I'll never be free, from me It will drip

Break it and not suffer, like you.

Strengthen and rebel, what do I do.

Demonstrate how, for I'm a fool

Or I'll struggle with them, to It I'll stay true.

The shackles of It, bound me deep

I'll never be free, from me It will reap.